Adoption is Not a Last Resort

A friend told me she and her partner are trying to conceive. “I’m no spring chicken,” she said. “But if we can’t get pregnant we can always adopt if we have to.”

In the spirit of Adoption Awareness Month, I would like to point out that people don’t “have to” adopt. Adoption is not always a last resort. My husband and I chose to adopt rather than trying IVF. I have friends with biological children who also adopted for the sake of giving a needy child a family. Adoption is just another way of creating or expanding a family.

I am sure I made uninformed, unthoughtful comments about adoption before I became a parent, but now that I’m in a position to right that wrong, I want to say that adoption is a choice. A great choice. There will forever be a stigma attached to adoption if people continue to consider it a last resort.


3 thoughts on “Adoption is Not a Last Resort

  1. You are a wonderful advocate for adopted folk Sarah! I’m sure your 2 beautiful girls will grow up knowing they were dearly wanted and have never been considered a last resort! Xx ps hi to the girls and Belinda

  2. When we adopted several international children in the 1970s and 80s, there was no other choice but adoption if you wanted to parent and could not have biological children. No IVF, no genetic counselling, no surrogacy, donor sperm and eggs, nor donor embryo….a curette, go home, forget the pregnancy and try again! Times have changed and there are now many options available to establish or complete your family. I am glad there was ‘just’ giving birth or adoption and we chose to adopt, from Australia, Sri Lanka, Vietnam and Hong Kong. Now there is so much more research and support from adoptive parents groups etc.that we as adoption pioneers did not have available. Regardless, adoption should not be a last resort, built on emotions or desperation. It is a well considered, careful plan to permanently change your family structure, to parent and love a child not biologically related, to be there for that child, in the joys and challenges, as they go through childhood, adolescence and adulthood, and to be full of joy and wonderment for the wonderful grandchildren .

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